Tuesday, October 23, 2012

RIP Evil Bunny

*The above photo is an artist depiction, as actual photos of the evil bunny do not exist.
Until a week ago, the only wildlife that lived in my yard was the evil bunny. He may have looked like your average rabbit, but he was a sinister bully.
Evil bunny didn't like it when we tried to water the garden. I'd have to shoot the hose at him to get him to back up. He'd back up- but only far enough to get away from the hose. He was abnormally aggressive. He'd give you the rabbit version of the middle finger, posturing and liberally dosing out the stink eye.
If humans were not around to bully, he would blatantly come up to the back door and try to intimidate Kitty. Kitty wasn't so much intimidated as terrified that the basic laws of nature were not obeyed by evil bunny. Evil bunny would not leave if you pounded on the glass and shooed him away. He would hop into the flowerpots and uproot the plants as revenge.
Once, in an attempt to gain control of the house, he would not move from the front step. Wild arm gestures, yelling, and shooing would not deter him. We were forced to throw things in his direction. He only left distainfully, and even then only moved a few feet from the front door, to watch us go inside.
I have no proof, but I believe he was a murderer. Smaller, weaker rabbits were found murdered in the yard.
One week ago, husband came home to animal noises coming from the back yard. The neighborhood cat had obviously won an epic battle against evil bunny. His evil body, now severed from head, was left as proof. Because we are not monsters, husband gave evil bunny (reunited with head) a proper burial. 
I would not be surprised if the neighbors report a headless bunny aparition. 

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